By: Kourtney Cannell
Have you ever seen a previous picture of yourself and thought “I looked great back then! What I would give to look like that again!” or weighed yourself and said “Awe, there was a time when I was “X” weight, what I would do to get there again!”
I have a question for you. At the time of that picture or when you were at that weight, were you happy with your body?
Hey Epic Rockstars. Coach Kourtney here. I just wanted to get real with you all for a few minutes here about “The goal number.” The goal weight, the goal body fat percentage, the goal pant size. Most of us have these types of goals. But where do they come from?
My experience has been that they come from a place of comparison, a comparison to someone else, to how I used to be, or how I think I should be.
My thought process would kind of go like this – and thus, the goal number is born:
“Maybe if I lose 20lbs, I’ll like what I see.”
“She’s a size 4, maybe I’ll look like her if I’m a size 4 too, then I’ll be happy.”
“I won’t have any insecurities about my body if I have “X” body fat %.”
The “I’ll be happy/happier when I reach this number” kind of goal.
There is nothing wrong with having and pursuing goals. The problem comes when we put our happiness and excitement on hold until we reach that goal.
Here’s my personal experience with these kinds of number goals and the two things that always happen:
The “weigh-in” doesn’t go well which leads to a terrible mood, then I start picking apart my body.
The weigh-in does go well, but not as well as I wanted. I find something negative about it and I am not as happy as I thought I would be.
I have thought, and maybe so have you, that as soon as I reach this magic number, it will be like a switch is flipped and I, all of the sudden, exude confidence, have no insecurities, and am thrilled with this “new” body of mine. But does that really happen? My experience has been that it does not.
I am not saying that we should not have goals, but should we really be putting our happiness on hold because we aren’t at that “goal number” yet?
As some of you know, I have struggled with eating disorders since I was 13. I was anorexic for a time, bulimic for a time, a binger for a time, even now I still struggle with emotional binge eating. With this comes a negative body image and toxic thinking patterns.
We have this illusion that we will only feel better once we hit that goal.
I would do whatever I could to get to that number, even if it meant starving myself, or working out until I burned off as many calories as I just ate.
I would argue to myself, “But Kourtney, the whole reason I exercise is to get to that number.”
I used to think that the only way I could be happy with my body is to hit that goal number, but over the last 2 years I have learned that I can be happy in my body now. Being grateful for what my body can do right now!
Here is what I have learned that I think can help you along your journey to reach your health and wellness goals:
Do not put your happiness on hold until you reach a goal. As the saying goes, it is about the journey and not the destination. This is so true when it comes to health and wellness. The journey of becoming a better version of yourself, and 1% better every day is what will bring you lasting change to your mind and body.
Don’t associate your health and wellness goal to a goal “number.” Instead, focus on what your body will be able to DO as a result of your progress you make over time. Focusing on outcomes that that occur as a result of your hard work that are not directly tied to a goal number is a healthy place to start. Being able to get up and down the stairs without feeling out of breath, getting up and down off the ground to play with your kids – these are much more than merely side effects of losing weight. These are the “why” behind what you are doing. They are the reason you keep pushing towards improving yourself.
Reward yourself for your accomplishments. Your health and wellness journey should be a lifelong one, and when you start to see progress it can be very motivating. It can also be a long, sometimes boring road of eating the same (or similar) meals filled with protein, veggies and water. Reward yourself often – go out to dinner and order the dessert – give yourself a built-in reward for accomplishing a milestone. It can be something as simple as buying those new clothes with the changing of the seasons. Rewarding yourself often for your accomplishments is something that will keep you motivated as well.
Be grateful for what your body can do RIGHT NOW. This is one of the most powerful things you can do on a daily basis. Something as simple as writing down ONE thing you are grateful that your body can do today can change your mindset into the positive. For example, writing “I am grateful to be able to play with my kids at the park today, and slide up and down the slide” can bring positive affirmations of what your body CAN do!